Facebooking: TVD Edition
by anneryn7
Summary: AU. The Salvatore brothers cave and finally get a Facebook. Hilarity ensues. Features just about everyone. A lot of the characters who have been killed off of the show are no longer dead. For this story, Bonnie and Jeremy never died and had to be brought back. Mild OOC. Based off of Supernatural Facebook by MsMKT86 (with permission). REPOSTED & REWRITTEN.
1. Salvatores Get a Facebook

**A/N: Based off of the amazing Supernatural Facebook by MsMKT86. MsMKT86 gave me the green light for this! This is all in good fun. This has been rewritten and reworked. Hope you all enjoy! I'm working on rewriting the other chapters and hope to have them up soon!**

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 **I DO NOT OWN _THE VAMPIRE DIARIES_ OR THE CHARACTERS.**

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Chapter One:

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 **Caroline's POV**

I sighed and glanced at the clock. I still have an hour to kill before I have to leave. I started messing around on my phone and opened my Facebook app. I stared at my phone in disbelief. I had two friend requests, from none other than Damon and Stefan Salvatore. Wow. That's a first. There's no way that I can just not say something about this.

 _Caroline Forbes: "I can't believe the Salvatore brothers actually got Facebook accounts. I never thought I'd live to see the day."_

It didn't take long, before my friends started liking my status.

 _Bonnie Bennett, Elena Gilbert, Tyler Lockwood and 5 others like this. Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status._

I bet they're just as shocked as I am. For some reason, I just can't picture Stefan as the Facebook type. I refreshed my feed and saw the alert and clicked on it.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "Not all of us are technology impaired, Barbie. It's like my younger, bunny-loving brother would have joined, if I hadn't twisted his arm."_

I snorted with laughter. Of course, Damon would have something to say. Doesn't he always? My phone chimed and the alerts kept coming. I looked back at my status. Klaus and Alaric liked Damon's comment. Ha, like I expected anything less.

 _Stefan Salvatore commented on your status._

Oh, this will be good.

Stefan Salvatore: "Not all of us enjoy killing sorority girls, Damon. And I don't eat bunnies."

Elena and 'Ric has liked Stefan's comment, before I had a chance to.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status._

The Salvatore brothers getting Facebook accounts is probably the most entertaining thing to happen in a while. Why watch TV, when we can watch them duke it out on the internet? I laughed.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "Whatever you have to tell yourself, Thumper-killer."_

I laughed as I read Damon's comment. This keeps getting better and better. I liked his comment, before I read the other comments that kept coming.

 _Alaric Saltzman and Klaus Mikaelson like this. Elena Gilbert commented on your status._

Oh, this should be good.

 _Elena Gilbert: "Leave him alone, Damon."_

I can't blame Elena for sticking up for her man, but there's no way that her doing so will make Damon back off. I mean, has she met the guy?

 _Klaus Mikaelson likes this. Klaus Mikaelson commented on your status._

God. Klaus is so annoying. How are we even Facebook friends? Oh, yeah. I was worried that if I didn't accept his friend request, that he would throw a tantrum and light Mystic Falls on fire.

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "I love watching lovers' quarrel."_

I rolled my eyes. Is he serious? This is from the guy who spent most of his life stalking Katherine? Of course, he loves watching people fight. He feeds off of disaster. He's like a leech.

 _Klaus Mikaelson and Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore like this._

Someone needs to knock him down a peg. Jeez.

 _Caroline Forbes: "No one asked you, Klaus."_

I know that saying something will just egg him on, but he's so infuriating!

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore, Elena Gilbert, Stefan Salvatore and 2 others like this. Klaus Mikaelson commented on your status._

I don't even want to know what he's going to say. I really don't. It will either make me even more annoyed or make me gag. But knowing Klaus, it'll probably be both. Heaven help me.

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "You're so sexy when you're angry, love."_

Really? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? He really went there? Ugh.

 _Tyler Lockwood commented on your status._

Thank goodness. I sighed. I love Tyler. He's so much better than Klaus.

 _Tyler Lockwood: "Back off, Klaus."_

You go babe! Tyler is seriously the best.

 _Caroline Forbes, Bonnie Bennett, Jeremy Gilbert and 3 others like this. Stefan Salvatore commented on your status._

See! He annoys other people, too. It's not just me.

 _Stefan Salvatore: "There are a lot worse things than eating rabbits, Damon."_

I laughed at Stefan's comment. This is great. Anything is better than Klaus trying to hit on me, again.

 _Caroline Forbes, Lexi Branson, Elena Gilbert and 2 others like this. Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status._

What did he say now? I seriously think that Damon just stares at him reflection in the mirror and just talks. His ego is that big.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "Like eating kittens?"_

How is maiming kittens worse than killing people?

 _Alaric Saltzman and Klaus Mikaelson like this._

I rolled my eyes. I still amazed that Damon actually has friends that he hasn't had to compel. It's a miracle, really.

 _Caroline Forbes: "How has anyone not killed you?"_

I legitimately want to know. Stefan, I totally get still being alive, but Damon? It's like he lives to offend people. I think he wakes up in the morning and tries to figure out exactly just how offensive he can be that day. I honestly wouldn't be surprised.

 _Lexi Branson, Stefan Salvatore, Matt Donovan and 2 others like this._ _Lexi commented on your status._

And my friends agree with me!

 _Lexi Branson: "If not for Stefan, he'd be staked already."_

I cackled. Lexi is the best. I could totally see Lexi and Damon throwing down and Lexi kicking his ass. Damon wouldn't stand a chance.

 _You, Klaus Mikaelson, Jeremy Gilbert and 4 others like this._

I closed the app and started to get ready. I have a date with Tyler to get ready for.


	2. Who Wants to Build an Army?

Chapter Two:

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 **Klaus' POV**

I looked at my laptop in disbelief.

 _Elena Gilbert denied your friend request._

She had some nerve. I can't believe that annoying little doppelgänger had the balls to deny _**my**_ friend request. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me?! I'm the best person I know. Well, I'll show her.

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "Anxious to build my hybrid army. Can't wait to get my hands on some doppelganger blood. ;) You know I'm talking about you, Elena."_

I updated my status. Well, this should be fun. I love messing with her and those idiot Salvatore brothers that seem addicted to sharing one woman.

 _Katherine Pierce likes your status. Elena Gilbert commented on your status._

Katherine would be the one to like my status. She's the bitch who started this whole mess by getting herself changed into a vampire, in the first place. So much trouble could have been avoided, but no.

 _Elena Gilbert: "Too bad I'm a vampire Klaus, or have you forgotten?"_

How could I have forgotten? She and the other doppelgängers have been nothing but a permanent pain my ass.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore, Bonnie Bennett, Rebekah Mikaelson and 10 others like this._

Elena really doesn't deserve the loyal friends she has. She always ends up ahead and they end up perishing for it. Shame none of them seem to realize this. I'm not about to be the one to tell them. It's not my job to cure the world of stupidity.

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "Remind me, why haven't I killed you yet?"_

I asked her. The only reason that Elena is still alive, is because I don't doubt that her little Bennett witch would move hell and earth to get her revenge.

 _Katherine Pierce likes your status. Kol Mikaelson commented on your status._

Kol is always running his mouth. What is he spewing out now?

 _Kol Mikaelson: "Because the thought of finally getting with Caroline has you pussy-whipped, brother."_

I fumed and pictured all of the different ways I could torture Kol, before daggering him, so I would finally get some peace and quiet.

 _Elena Gilbert, Stefan Salvatore, Elijah Mikaelson and 5 others like this. Katherine Pierce commented on your status._

Katherine, on the other hand, has no reason for me to keep her alive. I should really rectify that soon. One less doppelgänger helps the world go 'round.

 _Katherine Pierce: "You're whipped and you're in the friend zone. Can you get anymore pathetic?"_

Yes. Especially if that dead doppelgänger is Katrina Petrova.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore, Tyler Lockwood, Kol Mikaelson and 5 others like this._

I swear. Kids these days have no respect. What has the world come to?

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "Mind your tongue, Kol. I might have to dagger you again."_

Does Katherine really have nothing better to do, than to stir up trouble? I suppose not.

 _Katherine Pierce likes this. Rebekah Mikaelson commented on your status._

Oh, great. Now 'Bekah is jumping in. This is why I always keep my siblings daggered. Life is so much easier, when they can't plot against me.

 _Rebekah Mikaelson: "With what, Nik? Or have you forgotten that all of the white oak stakes and ash have been destroyed? Face it – you're all talk."_

I've always had a soft spot for my sister, but right now, she's pushing it.

 _Elijah Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson, Tyler Lockwood and 10 others like this._

If she really wants to know how I plan on pulling it off, who am I to deny her?

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "What's to stop me from burying you all alive? Desecration becomes you, sister."_

Now, I just wait. My aggravating siblings are bound to say something soon.

 _Katherine Pierce likes this. Kol Mikaelson commented on your status._

Kol is so predictable.

 _Kol Mikaelson: "There are three of us and one of you. Like you, we are immortal. Do you really want a war on your hands, brother?"_

With Elijah on their side, I might actually be worried. He is the only one with the discipline who would be able to pull something of that magnitude off.

 _Rebekah Mikaelson and Elijah Mikaelson like this._

Well, of course they do. I wouldn't expect anything less.

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "Don't tempt me."_

I'll just leave it at that. It's good to keep them on their toes. If they get too out of hand, I'm sure I can find a witch or two to help along the desecration. I smirked as I turned off my laptop. Nothing like stirring up a bit of trouble to start off your morning.


	3. Best Boyfriend Ever!

**A/N: This will be so much easier, once I have these chapters rewritten. Lol. The characters are gonna be a little OOC for the fic. Hope you don't mind too much!**

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 **I DO NOT OWN FACEBOOK,** _ **THE VAMPIRE DIARIES**_ **, OR THE CHARACTERS.**

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Chapter Three:

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 **Elena's POV**

I hummed to myself, as I opened up my Facebook account. I couldn't stop thinking about Stefan and his sexy self. He's so perfect. I literally couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. He's seriously the best!

Elena Gilbert: "I have the best boyfriend ever! 3 _–with Stefan Salvatore_ "

I smiled at my updated status. I don't care if it's mushy. It's too fitting not to post. It didn't take long for everyone else to appreciate my post.

 _Caroline Forbes, Stefan Salvatore, Bonnie Bennett and 4 others like this. Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status._

Damon just had to comment. I couldn't help the inevitable eye roll that graced my face. He's always trying to rain on our parade. Can't he just let us be happy?

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "Gag. Can't you two go a day without posting something on Facebook about each other? It's nauseating."_

Wow. Jealous much?

 _Rebekah, Katherine Pierce and Tyler Lockwood like this. Katherine Pierce commented on your status._

How is Katherine even posting on my Facebook? We're not even friends… Just when I thought she couldn't get any creeper… or desperate…

 _Katherine Pierce: "Everyone picks Stefan over you, Damon. You should be used to it by now. Envy doesn't suit you."_

At least she's agreeing with me, for once. That's a first.

 _Klaus Mikaelson and Lexi like this. Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status._

I have a feeling that this is just going to end up being Katherine and Damon getting into a dick measuring contest. At least it'll be entertaining!

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "Any woman that would pass up all of this must be blind and stupid. Remind me again, why no one will touch you?"_

I let out an unladylike bark of laughter. Oh, this is getting good.

 _Stefan Salvatore, Rebekah, Klaus Mikaelson and 15 others like this. Klaus Mikaelson commented on your status._

I give Klaus five minutes before he threatens to maim or kill Katherine. That's normally his fallback, when he doesn't get his way.

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "She's a manipulative whore."_

Ha! Oh, my God. I felt tears starting to well in my eyes, from laughing so hard. This is too much.

 _Elena Gilbert, Stefan Salvatore, Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore and 10 others like this. Elijah Mikaelson commented on your status._

Poor Elijah. He really does deserve so much better than Katherine. Hasn't she played enough men in her lifetime?

 _Elijah Mikaelson: "Katerina has changed."_

And that's exactly what I thought he'd say. Boy, is he in denial.

 _Katherine Pierce likes this. Rebekah Mikaelson commented on your status._

Maybe Rebekah can reason with him? As far as Klaus' siblings go, she's not the worst.

 _Rebekah Mikaelson: "I wouldn't hold your breath, Elijah."_

It's like watching a train wreck. I just can't look away. My notifications keep going off.

 _Elena Gilbert, Caroline Forbes, Klaus Mikaelson and 3 others like this. Caroline Forbes commented on your status._

This is like watching an episode of _Jerry Springer_.

 _Caroline Forbes: "Watching you duke it out is better than watching TV!"_

Great minds really do think alike. I smiled to myself.

 _Bonnie Bennett, Alaric Saltzman, Jeremy Gilbert and 9 others like this. Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status._

Damon really needs to get a life. I shook my head. I'm almost afraid to read whatever he had to say.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "Stay out of this Barbie."_

Is that really the best he can do? Really?

 _Katherine Pierce likes this. Stefan Salvatore commented on your status._

My heart swooned, when I saw that Stefan commented on our status. At least he won't be butthurt about my post.

 _Stefan Salvatore: "You can always stop following our posts, brother."_

Right? I don't even know why Damon follows my posts, anyways. He's almost as creepy as Katherine.

 _Elena Gilbert, Lexi, Alaric Saltzman like this. Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status._

I sighed. He just couldn't let it be – could he?

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "What fun would that be? As your older brother, it's in my job description to annoy the hell out of you and your bunny-eating ways."_

I tried not to laugh. I really did.

 _Alaric Saltzman likes this. Stefan Salvatore commented on your status._

Stefan promised me that he's never eaten a bunny before. I believe him. He would never lie to me. Ever.

 _Stefan Salvatore: "Because you love me."_

I grinned. It's true, though. He's got a point.

 _Elena Gilbert, Caroline Forbes, Alaric Saltzman and 4 others like this. Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status._

Of course, I doubt that Damon would ever let himself admit it. That would mean admitting that he's capable of actual feelings. And he'd never lower himself to us mere mortals.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "I wouldn't go that far, Stefan."_

I called it. Maybe Bonnie isn't the only psychic one?

 _Elena Gilbert: "Stefan isn't afraid to express his emotions. It's part of why I love him so much. 3"_

I couldn't help commenting. Stefan doesn't get nearly as much credit as he deserves.

 _Stefan Salvatore likes this. Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status_.

Of course, Damon always has to have the last word. I shook my head.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "I repeat, 'Gag.'"_

Well, haters gonna hate.

 _Katherine Pierce, Tyler Lockwood, Alaric Saltzman and 15 others like this._

I closed Facebook and texted Stefan to see when he would be over. We have a date. Screw everyone else. They don't appreciate our affection. That's fine with me. I'll enjoy it enough for all of us.


	4. Friends' Night

**I DO NOT OWN FACEBOOK,** _ **THE VAMPIRE DIARIES**_ **, OR THE CHARACTERS.**

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Chapter Four:

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 **Bonnie's POV**

I sighed, as I decided to update my status.

 _Bonnie Bennett: "I'm taking the weekend off. I need a girls' night with Caroline. I don't care if Klaus decides to come to town and throw another tantrum. I don't care if it starts raining fire. I'm not helping you. I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to see you. Don't even ask, or I'm setting your ass on fire. – feeling in desperate need of a vacation"_

I'm so tired of everything. I just need one night, where I don't have to worry about anything. Just one night. Is that really too much to ask? Apparently it is. I sighed.

 _Caroline Forbes, Jeremy Gilbert, Matt Donovan and 2 others like this. Elena Gilbert commented on your status._

Oh, goddess… I don't think I even want to know what Elena had to say. It's probably something about how I offended her and I don't have the energy to hear her whine right now. I really don't.

 _Elena Gilbert: "You don't mean it, Bon. If we were in trouble, you'd help. Why am I not invited to the girls' night?"_

I read over what she commented. Yep. That sounds about right. Why is always up to me to help them? Can't they just stop inviting trouble into their lives? I mean, seriously.

 _Stefan Salvatore and Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore like this._

I rolled my eyes and stretched my fingers, before setting them straight.

 _Bonnie Bennett: "No, I won't. I deserve some time to myself for once. You're a vampire. You can handle it, 'Lena. I want a drama-free weekend. You're too busy deciding which Salvatore you're into, so only Caroline is invited… maybe Matt. I still love you, though! Next week, I'm yours."_

I really don't need to be guilt-tripped right now. That is literally the last thing I need. And that includes the apocalypse.

 _Caroline Forbes and Rebekah Mikaelson like this. Rebekah Mikaelson commented on your status._

I don't understand how Rebekah is even related to Klaus. She's _**so**_ much better than he is. He is _**such**_ a drama queen.

 _Rebekah Mikaelson: "If Matt comes, I'm coming, too."_

I snickered, when I read her response. And you know what? I'm totally fine with Matt and Rebekah coming. That's fine with me.

 _Matt Donovan likes this. Matt Donovan and Klaus Mikaelson commented on your status._

Poor Matt, he's probably defending his manhood. I didn't mean to call him one of the girls.

 _Matt Donovan: "Bonnie, you I love you, but I'm not a girl! You're gonna have to give tonight a new name if you expect me to be there. I'm a man – damn it!"_

I laughed, when I read what he said. Poor Matt.

 _Bonnie Bennett, Caroline Forbes, Rebekah Mikaelson and 1 other likes this. Klaus Mikaelson commented on your status._

Oh, dear, God. He's going to find some way to make this all about him. Mark my words. I don't even have to be friends with Klaus to know that.

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "I beg your pardon, witch, but I do not throw tantrums. I am the Original hybrid. I am not a child."_

I'm not sure what's funnier… the fact that Klaus is so predictable, or that it's so easy to piss him off?

 _Marcel Gerard likes this. Elena Gilbert and Caroline Forbes commented on your status._

Oh, this should be good. At least Caroline will have my back. I can count on that much.

 _Elena Gilbert: "Rebekah can go and I can't? Way to make a girl feel loved."_

Yep. Typical Elena. I didn't really expect anything else, though, to be honest.

 _Caroline Forbes: "Klaus, have you met yourself? All you do is throw tantrums when you don't get your way. What do you call daggering your family?! #angerproblems #he'sindenial"_

I snorted, when I read Caroline's response. This is gold – pure undiluted gold.

 _Bonnie Bennett, Rebekah Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson and 20 others like this._

At least we aren't the only ones who know it!

 _Bonnie Bennett: "Rebekah if you can leave the drama at the door and swear not to complain, I don't care if you come, for Matt's sake. Matt we can just say it's a night in. Lol. I never said you had a vagina."_

I tried to correct my mistake of implying that Matt was one of the girls.

 _Rebekah Mikaelson, Caroline Forbes and Matt Donovan like this. Rebekah Mikaelson commented on your status._

I'm almost afraid to see what Rebekah said, because I have a feeling that it'll piss Elena off… not that it's hard to do.

 _Rebekah Mikaelson: "Thank you, Bonnie. That won't be a problem. Awe, is the doppelganger jealous?"_

I stifled my laughter and waited for someone else to say something.

 _Klaus Mikaelson commented on your status._

Why won't Klaus just go _**away**_?

 _Klaus Mikaelson: "Fuck all of you. You're dead to me."_

Awe, Klaus is throwing a temper tantrum, just like we all knew he would.

 _Elena Gilbert, Matt Donovan and Rebekah Mikaelson commented on your status._

All joking aside, I hope I didn't actually hurt Elena's feelings…

 _Elena Gilbert: "I'm a little jealous, but I get it Bonnie. No worries. We can have a REAL girls' night next week."_

Awe, okay. I'm glad she gets it. At least someone actually does.

 _Bonnie Bennett, Caroline Forbes, Jeremy Gilbert and 2 others like this._

Now, let's see what Matt said.

 _Matt Donovan: "As long we change the name, you can count me in, Bon!"_

I laughed, when I read his reply. Of course, we'll change the name. Like he even had to ask.

 _Bonnie Bennett, Rebekah Mikaelson and Caroline Forbes like this._

I doubt Rebekah will have any trouble fitting in. What did she have to say?

 _Rebekah Mikaelson: "Nik, have you forgotten that half of us are dead already? Lol. You're getting old brother. #someoneiscranky"_

She'll definitely be a good addition to our relaxing night in.

 _Bonnie Bennett, Caroline Forbes, Kol Mikaelson and 3 others like this. Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore commented on your status._

Oh, my 'Lanta. What does Damon want? I honestly don't even want to see what he had to say.

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore: "Come on, Judgy. We all know that you're friends are your kryptonite. Even if you did manage to stay away, I would drag your ass out here to save us."_

Damon just had to shove his nose in, where it wasn't wanted. Does he _**ever**_ mind his own business?

 _Damon 'Eternal Stud' Salvatore, Klaus Mikaelson and Kol Mikaelson like this._

That man _**needs**_ to get over himself. Pronto.

 _Bonnie Bennett: "You just have to ask yourself one thing, Damon. Are you ready to die?"_

I smirked, happy with my response.

 _Stefan Salvatore, Caroline Forbes, Jeremy Gilbert and 5 others like this._

Well, I have a friends' night in to get ready for. This should be fun.


End file.
